BioMed Update + Guilt trip

At the moment, my daughter is taking omega fish oil and digestive enzymes. In addition to this, she has Epsom salt baths 3 times a week. I am adding supplements one by one under guidance of her medical staff. I have not noticed any additional improvement in her speech or behavior. I know that sometimes biomedical intervention can take a long time so I am just pledging to be persistent.

Over the past week I started thinking a lot about my pregnancy with my daughter. When did it all go wrong? Part of me feels immense guilt. I am tempted to blame myself for what my daughter is going through. I know that she is pain and it crushes me because I can’t really do anything to instantaneously relieve her of this pain.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I never missed any appointment, ate organic and healthy etc. There were a couple of things that I question that happened during my labor and delivery though. I was overdue and was induced at 41weeks. Along with induction, I was put on IV antibiotics. Shortly after delivery…my daughter received the Hep B vaccine without my consent. From what I have been reading, a person should NEVER receive a vaccine if they are on antibiotics. Of course some of the antibiotics that were being administered to me intravenously went to my daughter. I mean, this just makes me mad.

During the guilt trip that I had this past week, I called my daughter’s PCP (primary care physician) to find out what brands of vaccines she received. One thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was the Pediarix combo vaccine. It has 850 micrograms of aluminum which is way above the FDA’s maximum requirement for aluminum of 25mcg. This made me think about when my daughter got that vaccine. The doctor told me to “watch out” for side effects but at the same time they did not specify what exactly I am watching out for. Yes, they told me about the fever which she never got but they already said that Tylenol should help. I think doctor’s need to do their due diligence and thoroughly educate parents and THEMSELVES! Most of them don’t even know what ingredients are in the vaccines. All they do is just spit out what the APA tells them to.

When I was going back to re-think of all the strange occurrences, I then started to ask myself “what if this…what if that” then I stopped. I am neither helping myself nor my daughter by feeling some kind of guilt or remorse. Guess what, AUTISM HAPPENED. I don’t care at this point how it did happen. All I know is that it happened to this first time mother who was hoping for a smooth and normal ride. It happened to this mother who had great aspirations for what she would do with her daughter at 1 ,2, 3 the 4 years. All those years past by… with the hope being carried forward to the next year.

To my beautiful daughter, I know you will get better. I may not have much but I know I have some crazy faith that will see us through.

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