“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
(Psalm 90:12, NIV)
Life is a gift, even in the midst of autism, life is a gift.
On Saturday night, I was thinking of what blog post I would write. I just knew that I was fed up with my daughter’s plateau with bio-medical. I wanted to write my frustrations down on paper and basically blog a rant about autism. So I made up my mind…when I wake up, I will write a candid blog entry about how frustrating life is with autism.
On Sunday morning, I was prepping my daughter, gave her supplements and breakfast. Then at 8:30am, I received a message from my sister asking our family to pray for her brother in law who was in an accident. I immediately jumped out of bed and frantically punched her number on the phone, “What is that message about?” I thought that she probably was talking about somebody else. Then she whispered in pain, “His dead!, he died in a car accident in Virginia” I burst out in tears.
My sister’s brother in law was a happy person. He was filled with life, laughter and joy. He might as well have been my brother. I last saw him during the thanksgiving break. He was so happy to note the progress that my daughter had made. He made us laugh and even walked us to the car as he strapped my son in the car seat and lifted my daughter up. As we were leaving, I drove up to the light and I heard a soft beep and I looked beside me…he waved with a big smile and drove off to work.
As I was processing this information, I received another text message. My sister who is overseas was due to give birth in the next few weeks, She indicated that her son, my nephew died. She said that he was beautiful. I then fell to my knees. The pain was so much. I cried from my soul.
Then I began to think about the rant that I wanted to write. How selfish of me! 2 women today lost their children. My sister and my sister’s mother in law. They will never hold their children again. It made me realize that I have been fixated on healing my daughter and complaining that I have forgotten to thank God for the gift of life. My daughter is a miracle. Every passing day…meltdowns, stimms and all….is a gift.
I know this is not the nature of God…but I felt like he was yelling from heaven, “NOW WHAT!!! You sorry and ungrateful child” I felt like I was wacked with the most twisted lesson.
As I was looking through my emails today, I stumbled upon a scripture from Joel Osteen (I have subscribed to their messages). The following was their message:
|Every Day is a Gift|
|Sometimes, our days can be so full and busy that we forget how fragile life really is. It can be easy to allow little things to creep in and steal our peace and joy. Maybe something doesn’t go your way, or someone says something upsetting. Even traffic can cause us to lose focus if we let it. We have to remember that each day is a gift. If we choose to focus on what’s wrong, we’ll miss the beauty that each day has to offer.
I encourage you today to not let the precious moments of life pass you by. Don’t wait for holidays and birthdays to show people that you care. Remember, each day is unique and irreplaceable. You have been given time that can be invested or wasted, hours that can be used or misused. That’s why the psalmist prayed to God, “Teach us to number our days.” He was saying, “Teach us to value every moment that we’ve been given.” As you daily keep a proper perspective, you’ll gain a heart of wisdom and experience the full blessing that He has for you each and every day!
|A Prayer for Today|
|“Father, thank You for the gift of today. I choose to focus on the blessing of each moment instead of allowing the little things to steal my joy. Keep me close to You always as I submit every area of my heart and mind to You in Jesus’ name. Amen.|
When I was reflecting on this message, I decided to take a note book and document every good thing my daughter does. I also will document why I am thankful for her. I call it the THANKFUL book. It is so easy for us bio-med moms to be so fixated on healing our children that we forget to celebrate the present day, the HERE and NOW. Document what testimonies you have. If your child doesn’t have a meltdown, write it in your book and say…THANK YOU JESUS. It’s often the small victories that keep us going.
As I was listening to a song by hillsong, I heard the Spirit say, “Why are you fighting so hard when you know that I have healed her” See, God has already healed her. The word of God says that by his stripes we WERE (past tense) healed. Jesus died on the cross and took sickness and rendered it powerless. Why am I fighting a fight that has already been won? All I can do is read the word and continue to claim his verses as the physical manifestation of healing continues to take place.
IT IS FINISHED.